Saturday, February 24, 2024

Valentine’s Day is not a happy day for everyone – Lincolnshire Domestic Abuse Specialist Service warns of ‘love bombing’

1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men experience domestic abuse during their lifetime.

Physical violence is only one aspect of domestic abuse. Abuse can also include a wide range of coercive and controlling behaviour, including threats, harassment, stalking, financial or economic control and emotional abuse.

Cards, flowers, gifts and lavish treatment are not always true indicators of love or a respectful relationship. They could also be a sign of ‘love bombing’.

If you are in a new relationship, abusers often portray themselves as charming, attentive, romantic, they put on a facade, a deceptive outward appearance, and only reveal their true selves once they have gained their partner’s trust and love. Their goal is to establish and maintain power and control over their partner.

Love bombing is where an abusive partner is excessive and obsessive, using emotional abuse and coercive control over their partner. The abuser can be intense and seek early and premature commitment as well as use constant affection and gifts, bombarding with messages, lots of compliments but little real conversation or listening.

Love bombing can also take place in the reconciliation ‘phases’ of a relationship, and we often associate it with the following behaviours or “red flags” – read more here

Red flags:

  • Jealous and possessive?
  • Gets too serious too fast?
  • Love bombing/puts you on a pedestal?
  • Isolating you from family and friends?
  • Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells?
  • Gets angry/aggressive quickly?
  • Pressure you to have sex?
  • Attempts to manipulate you?
  • They’re easily insulted and see everything as a personal attack?
  • Boasts about mistreating others?
  • Blames others for problems?
  • Uses drugs?
  • Disrespectful and cruel to others?
  • Constantly moody/sudden mood changes or agitated?
  • Doesn’t respect your property or privacy?

If you have concerns about your relationship, or are feeling uncomfortable or worried, remember that you are not alone and there is help and support available!

You have a right to feel safe and comfortable in your relationship. If you are in immediate danger contact the police on 999.

For advice and support in Lincolnshire visit Lincolnshire Domestic Abuse Specialist Service or call Support Hub on 01522 510041 option 2

24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
Respect Men’s advice line is 0808 8010327
Helpline for perpetrators 0808 8024040

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